At Long Last

 April 2011

Happy Easter! I hope today is filled with joy and reflection as we look at what today means to each of us individually. This place gives you plenty of time to reflect upon yourself and to be alone with your inner thoughts, which at times can be very scary. I wrote this segment in my head last night as I couldn’t sleep and we will see how well I capture my thoughts in the daylight.

The end is in sight and my time here is coming to end. I have not written much lately, and for that I do have regret.  I have memories I will carry with me and hopefully not forget and by writing just a snippet, I hope it refreshes my mind as the years pass-Italian Compound, sunglasses for the scouts, sand storms, clicker nazi, Top III crack girl, coloring my hair, porta-pottie prank, Saying Goodbye, Girl’s Night Out/Dad- can we go, April Fool's, wind surfing, pool chick, Al Faw, to name just a few. With the good there is always the bad and I hope those fade like the pain of childbirth.

I have asked myself why I stopped writing and there were plenty of excuses, but one main reason when I was honest. I lost my way and the true reason why I write. I read a comment from a friend who very innocently wrote that it sounded like I was on vacation. After reading the comment, I began to censor my thoughts and began to doubt myself and my writing. I didn’t want to continue to give the impression this place is great and there should be a timeshare kiosk located next the exchange offering a free week if you buy now. I wondered if I was giving a false impression of what I was going through. Should I be writing about sitting on the floor with Bill on the phone while scared of the noises or would that upset those who read it and cause undo worrying? Would my frustrations with management and policies be taken as whining and would I lose autonomy if people in my unit and deployed with read this? When I took away the vacation highlights and put pen to paper, I was left with the negatives and that didn’t make for a very good blog entry either. What I should have done was continue to write and not given it a second thought. What I now realize is my blog is not for you the reader, but for me the writer. When I stopped concentrating on the positives, I stopped the way I process what I am going through. My writings and concentrating on the fun things help me breakdown and compartmentalize the bad things as well.

So, moving on…

The biggest challenge here has not been doing my job, but finding the motivation to do anything. In a word, this place SUCKS and is what I would call a life sucker. I certainly cannot speak for the entire unit, but the conversations I have had with various troops and fellow S/NCO’s leads me to this conclusion, it’s our own fault. A SrA said this to me this morning “It’s hard to be motivated when you have one plane all day and the biggest decision will be to choose a movie to watch.” Now this kid is one of the brightest and most motivating Airmen in the entire unit and he nailed it. Our unit just came off a very successful deployment in Afghanistan and we are used to working, working hard. We came here expecting to work and were deeply disappointed to find out otherwise. I truly believe we have a great unit and coming here was a mistake. Our expectations and level of expertise was our own downfall. There will always be ups and downs, but the little things become so much bigger when there is nothing else- idle hands become the devil’s playground-shift wars, squabbles, and laziness. Some people rose to the challenge and dove deep inside themselves and found their own motivation by participating in leadership classes, fitness programs, squadron activities and church.

From the very beginning, I tried to keep busy by attending Top III meetings and then being elected secretary, volunteering for the scouts a few times, teaching a block of the Professional Development Course and enrolling in Course 14. Hands down, Course 14 has had the biggest impact on me. If there is any positive to be taken away from this God forsaken place it is that, it has afforded me the opportunity to grow as a leader.

Had I taken this correspondence course while at home, I would not have had the same experience or learned nearly as much. The biggest benefit was having MSgt Abeto (Mike) take the course at the same time. We pushed each other not only to complete it, but to learn at the same time. We would finish a block and then have discussions on what we just read. We would talk about situations currently happening around us and how it related to a particular block of instruction. These daily interactions reinforced what we were learning. A few weeks back, I lost 3/5 of my team due to a rotation and I had just finished the team building segment. Although I have previously been a part of teams, this time I was able to stand back and watch the dynamics in a much different light. There were times in the first few days I wanted to jump in, but I went to Mike instead and said I almost blew it, they are storming and norming and I can’t meddle in this process. Mike laughed at me and we talked all about team building and the essential process.  I think there is always that one person on a deployment you click with and for me it is Mike. We have been in the same unit for over 8 years and I never knew him. Today, I call him friend.

Being a Master Sergeant this time around also has brought its own opportunities for growth. One weekend a month does not give much opportunity to be a mentor or to know people. While here, people have come to me for advice or sometimes to just talk. I have been learning the difference between the two and offering advice only when asked. I have learned quite a bit by just listening and giving a nod to continue. It’s funny, after 20 min of mostly them talking; they walk away and thank me for helping.

I’ve been able to practice letting go. The last time I really worked in an aerial port was in Bagram as a TSgt and info controller. Here, my role is Duty Officer and to ensure the process runs smoothly. It means staying in my lane, giving guidance and knowing the difference between my job and there’s. Not to say I didn’t run to an aircraft from time to time to help out, but I tried to practice the concept of trusting your people and not micro managing.

When covering management styles and different types of authority, I looked at the management around me and saw traits I didn’t want to follow and took away positives from others. I saw negatives in myself as the light bulb over my head lit up. Categorizing employees and identifying best how to motivate them was another ah ha moment as I saw myself in the scenarios.

I’m leaving ATOC a cleaner and better organized office, big surprise on that one. I chuckled to myself and thought of Donna Boston when Jerry said the snack drawers looked like the movie Sleeping With The Enemy. The only thing missing were the labels not being aligned. If binders were old or not used, in the trash it went. Bulletin boards were cleaned up and old papers put in the burn can. Hot water was made thru the coffee pot to mop the floors even though the next day would be a sand storm.

I cannot be any happier knowing our replacements will be here by the end of the week and I will be home soon. I have struggled this entire time trying to find the good and not be a Negative Nancy, but this place is bad.

I have included an older post I never finished and that explains the date difference.

This isn’t good bye yet, but my time here is coming to a close.

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10 Apr 2011

What do you get when you add one flat tire with a mix of alpha males? In my book, that spells classic entertainment.  MSgt Abeto and I were out and about on Sather running errands and yours truly was driving the karaoke mobile. The ATOC truck was named so, because of my tendency to sing and dance when driving and listening to AFN (Armed Forces Network.) If you have shared office space with me or been in the car while I drove, you too have experienced the karaoke mobile. We were headed out of the LSA (living quarters) when I heard a very loud woosh and knew instantly I had driven to close to some scrap metal rods on the side of the gravel road. Mike asked if I was sure and there was no debating that loud sound. I continued to drive forward to get closer to the main access road and get out of the way on the narrow road between the CHU’s. I wasn’t looking forward to changing a tire and hoped we could call the equivalent of AAA, Mobile Maintenance. Mike crushed my hopes and reminded me flat tires are the responsibility of the user.  Heavy sigh. It’s not I don’t know how to change a tire and I firmly believe every female should know the basic fundamentals for such occasions, but if other options are available, why should I?

Mike and I quickly found the tools behind the back bench seat. While he started with loosening up the lug nuts, I located the owner’s manual. Note to self- I would not have known to loosen the lug nuts first and I have squirreled that little fact away. He quickly jacked up the truck and was ready for the spare. I looked around the license plate for the entry point to insert the crank tool thing to lower the spare. I was quite proud of myself for knowing there was such a point of entry. Bill had changed a flat on our truck back home and that was the tid bit I walked away with from that experience. I was unable to find it on this truck and as Mike looked around unsuccessfully, I referred to the owner’s manual. There it was, plain as day next to the license plate where it belonged.

Mike started to crank down the spare and as it had begun to turn dark, I held the flashlight. As Mike cranked away, the tire never dropped. He yanked and pulled on it, but it only dropped a few inches and would not fully disengage. The mosquitoes now realized we were there and begun the appetizer course. I quickly put my blouse back on and squashed several flying around my head. I continued with flashlight duty, but no matter what Mike did, the tire cable would not dislodge.

Chief walked by us and asked if we were ok and Mike told him it was under control. I was a great flashlight holder and never offered advice on the situation. Mike kept at it and was convinced he could make it work. Chief walked by the second time on the way to laundry and stopped to help. He too could not get it to drop and then continued on his way to the laundry facility. About this time SSgt Delaporte walked by and asked what we were doing. I found it annoying as it was obvious what we were doing; we were not changing a tire. Delaporte was convinced one Chief and two Master Sergeants were obviously overqualified for the job and decided he would be the one able to drop the tire. I found amusement in the fact; he too could not get it down. Chief now walked by for the third time and sees we are still there.

The access road we are on is also used as the running path and many runners found it necessary to comment as they passed with such clever questions as “How many people does it take to change a tire?” As our group grew I was relieved of flashlight duty, I parked my bum off to the side and watched. There really was nothing I could add and figured this was a better alternative and provided the bonus of entertainment.

Chief left us and headed to a phone to call Mobile Maintenance as it was obvious at this point something was broken. Chief came back and said the Calvary was on the way. Mobile Maintenance arrived and they attacked our truck. One guy took off the tire with power tools while the other crawled under the bed and he was going to show us how it was done.  Chief looked over and saw me sitting outside of the activity and laughed. He later said it was quite clever of me getting a flat tire so I could watch all these men.

I think at this point Mike was feeling his manhood had been questioned. Changing a tire should not be this hard and certainly did not require the size of our peanut gallery. To his comfort, Mobile Maintenance couldn’t do it either and they even had power tools and a cool HMV out rigged with manly greasy tools. When they realized the contraption holding the spare must be broken, they slapped on the new tire they brought with them and told us to bring the truck into the garage.

We arrived at the garage and now a team of four maintenance guys all crawled underneath the bed and yanked, pulled, and pried at the spare.  The conclusion they came to was the mechanism was broken and a part had to be ordered for a proper fix. Short term fix was to cut the cable and throw the spare in the bed of the truck.  The karaoke mobile lived to see another day.

When we first arrived here, some of the guys found a little piece of heaven known as Happy Feet. For the first several months, that was THE place to go on your day off. Happy Feet is a little CHU located on the other side near the Taja grocery store, down a dirt road and tucked behind a car wash. You have to know where this place is or you will never find it. Twice now, Julie and I have been able to arrange our day off for the same day and have enjoyed a few relaxing hours pretending we were somewhere else.

Our first day trip begins by picking up our vehicle. Vehicles are a hot commodity here and in the past you were able to take a work vehicle if the mission supported its absence. Recently however; many of our vehicles have been turned into Vehicle Operations as part of our draw down. Now, when you want to leave Sather and need a vehicle, you put in a request a few days in advance and then go over to Vehicle Ops to pick it up. Julie and I check in with Vehicle Ops for our vehicle and I ask for the Ford Excursion with blacked out windows and various satellites antennas on the roof with satellite GPS. I see the Special Op guys driving them and so should I. Sgt Mackey instead offers the “exotic” Deer and not just any Deer, but the Super Deer.  Julie chimes in and says it’s just like the rental car places in the States; you ask for one thing and get another.

The Super Deer is one hot ride. It has upgraded stripes on the exterior sides and the dash is wood grain. The true selling point was the cassette player and red carpet interior; a true gem, this Super Deer. We headed out and Mackey yells after us “You can drive a shift right?” I learned on a stick and my first purchased vehicle was a manual Ford Ranger.  I’m feeling confident in my abilities. We throw our IBA’s (Individual Body Armor) in the back bed and we are ready! I put it in first and start the engine. BAM, Julie gets whiplash. I forgot to keep the clutch in. Silly me, I try again and now we are off. We stopped at the Exchange for something and when I start the truck, BAM, Julie gets whiplash. That darn clutch again. We head towards the Sather exit, made a right turn and headed out for adventures.

We stopped at the Mediterranean Café and enjoyed a meal that was not the chow hall. Our eyes were bigger than our stomach and ordered too much food, but it was great. We had lamb, humus, flatbread, pizza and things we had never had before. Time was getting short and we hated to go, but we jumped in the Super Deer. I started her up and BAM, Julie got whiplash. Why can I not remember the clutch?

We arrived at Happy Feet a little late, which was a bummer, but soon found out why appointments are hard to make. When you pull up and park in the dirt lot all you see is this little CHU with a sign and arrow. When you walk in though, you have magically been transported to another place. Soft music plays in the background mingled with the sounds of trickling water. The smell is not of dirt and sand, but rather the special scent only spa seems to have. The lights are dim with a sign posted please speak softly. Where have you been all my life?

The front receptionist is a blonde Russian gal who also gives facials. On a different trip, Edwards has one and is amazed. She walks Julie and I back to the massage area and these two little Korean women go to town on us. By time we are done, we have been bent and twisted like pretzels. My foot had still been bothering me at this point and she works on that for me and brings some pain relief. Our time is up and we must go, but we promise to return. In the background you can hear live fire and we are brought back to reality. With a heavy sigh, we headed back to Sather. Oh Happy Feet, how I love you and for those of you dying to know, no they do not offer Happy Ending.

Every time we stop and get out, we lug our IBA’s from the bed to the cab and lock them up. We don’t want to tempt some poor Army guy who lost theirs and sees our as an easy fix. It’s heavy, cumbersome and not really needed. I love outdated and unnecessary policies. We dragged our IBA’s from the cab to the bed and head for home, BAM, Julie gets whiplash. It has now become ridiculous.

We turn our vehicle in, check in with the UCC, return our IBA’s to our respective work centers and parted ways in happy bliss.

Just for the record- I have since checked out the same Super Deer and remembered the clutch every time.